Stop Getting So Mad! (Getting Even Pt 4)

Rev 12:7-9

War broke out in heaven: Michael and his angels fought with the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought, 8 but they did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer. 9 So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

How do angels and demons, who can’t kill each other, win in a war?

            The victor in this war prevails by gaining territory

The loser is displaced – “no place was found for them any longer”

Jesus speaks to seeing Satan displaced;

Now He enlists us in this warfare and gives us power to displace him

Luke 10:17-19

Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, "Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name."  18 And He said to them, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.  19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

Mark 16:17.  In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues;

It is not enough to displace Satan and his principalities

     It’s about taking those places for Christ and submitting them to Kingdom rule

The same way kings & nations fight to conquer territory and expand their kingdom

     We’re to fight to remove Satan from his place and expand the territory of Jesus

Paul says, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Eph 6:12

It is not a mystical, symbolic warfare, but a daily warfare

     Victory is determined by our daily actions & interactions,

          Whether we’re giving place to Christ or place to Satan

Eph 4:25-32

Therefore, putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another. 26 "Be angry, and do not sin;" do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God (Don't cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the way you live), by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

31 Stop being mean (bitter), bad-tempered, and angry (and having resentment). Arguing, harsh words (slander, abusive words), and dislike of others (hatred, spite) should have no place in your lives. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted (sympathetic), forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.   

These are the things that give place to the devil – Stop Being So Mad!

• ·         Lying
• ·         Anger
• ·         Holding things (unforgiveness)
• ·         Stealing
• ·         Being mean
• ·         Bitterness
• ·         Resentment
• ·         Going into a rage
• ·         Arguing
• ·         Saying hurtful things
• ·         Slander – saying things harmful to a person’s reputation
• ·         Hatred
• ·         Spitefulness – carrying a grudge

Most of these things are held in our heart and then reflected in our mouth

Matt 15:18 "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.

It is not enough to displace principalities; we must fill our place with the Holy Spirit

Luke 11:24-26

24 "When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.'  25 And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order.  26 Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first."

Eph 5:18.  Do not be drunk with wine, in which is wasteful, excess living; but be filled with the Spirit,

Under the daily influence of the Spirit, we begin to see changes in our lives

            As His place expands, we see the areas of our life improving

James 4:7-8

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded

Give Jesus a place, because He’s working to give you a place

John 14:1-3

"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.  2 In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.  3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

I’m Not Mad, I’m Sad (Getting Even 3)

1 Sam 22:1-2, 5

David therefore departed from there and escaped to the cave of Adullam. So when his brothers and all his father's house heard it, they went down there to him. 2 And everyone who was in distress, everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented gathered to him. So he became captain over them. And there were about four hundred men with him.

5 Now the prophet Gad said to David, "Do not stay in the stronghold; depart, and go to the land of Judah." So David departed and went into the forest of Hereth.

Depression is normal

            We saw that Elijah was depressed in our first sermon

                        As a mighty man of God, he was not exempt

                                    Depressed… didn’t have anything to live for

1 Kings 19:4.  He prayed that he might die, and said, "It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!"

 Depression often leads to thoughts of suicide

Nobody would care if I were gone; everybody would be better off without me; nothing I do means anything; life is too hard

Job was depressed because of constant tragedy (why didn’t I die at birth)

Moses was depressed because people were talking about him and his best efforts

Jonah was depressed because of disappointment (better to die than to live)

Widow of Prophet depressed because of her economy and severe loss

Jeremiah was constantly depressed because he took everything so personal

Cain was depressed because of his (stupid) choices

Hannah was depressed (bitterness of soul) because of physical issues

King David wrote a lot about his depression (cast down)

Apostle Paul talks openly about his depression: 

2 Cor 1:8.  For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened and pressed beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life.

Me:  Dec 1, 2012 I wrote:  “Like Paul slips into despair, I slip into depression; not over any one thing, but the weight of the whole.”

Even Jesus got depressed:

Mark 14:32-34

Then they came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, "Sit here while I pray."  33 And He took Peter, James, and John with Him, and He began to be deeply troubled and distressed (heavy). 34 Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, to the point death. Stay here and watch."

Isa 53:3.  He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

            Things affected Him – how people responded & how they treated Him

                        He carried other people’s problems – Isa 53:12 

Remove the guilt from being depressed

It’s not that we get depressed – it’s that depression seizes us and we can’t move on

Depression drains your energy and drive, and robs you of your joy

     Ps 119:28.  My soul melts from heaviness.

Depression drives you into a cave – 1 Sam 22:1

Lose interest in doing thing

Withdraw from people; become irritable  

Depressed people don’t know how to ‘feel’ better or snap out of it

Being depressed is depressing

For the believer, it can become complex because of the seemed absence of God

• Ps. 42:3  My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, "Where is your God?"
• Ps 42:9.  I will say to God my Rock, "Why have You Forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?"

Depression takes our hope and consumes you with negative thinking

•         Overgeneralize:  draw conclusion based on a few negative facts – no exception
•         Label:  “I’m a failure, I’m stupid, I’m a loser”

Hope is what makes you lean into tomorrow, expecting a better day

Depression makes it difficult believe, let alone to move on

I’m not preaching “Don’t get depressed”

                        I am preaching “Don’t get stuck there. There comes a time to move on.”

Jesus dealt with His depression by submitting to the will of God

            That’s difficult to do when depression has clouded things – “what’s His will?”

You may not know the will of God, but know this: 

Every journey to the mountain leads through the valley

            Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David, Jesus

Deut 8:15.  Who led you through that great and terrible wilderness, in which were fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty land where there was no water

This life is a journey; we must keep moving; we can’t stop in the valley

How do I move when depressed makes me want to pull the covers over my head…?

1. Recover your Hope in God

Ps 42:11.  Why are you cast down, O my soul?  And why are you disturbed within me?

Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.

Hope helps you believe in a day that’s better than today and won’t let you quit

2. Fight negative thinking with the Word

Ps 119:28.  My soul melts from heaviness; strengthen me according to Your word.

Phil 4:8.  Whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — let your thoughts dwell on these things.

•         Make a list of things to be grateful for

3. The Word changes your perspective on life – see things the way God sees them

Ps 119:30.  I have chosen the way of truth; Your judgments I have laid before me.

4. Come out of the cave

End the isolation – support system

2 Cor 7:6-7.  Nevertheless God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming, but also by the consolation with which he was comforted in you.

5. Take care of yourself

            Sleep, but get up – sleep for rest, don’t stay in the bed because of depression

            Eat right – healthy mood boosting foods

            Go outside – go for a walk; get some sunshine

            Try to keep busy – accomplishing things can make you feel better about yourself

6. Get Help! If necessary

Church counselor, Christian psychologist or psychiatrist, social worker, school counselor

            If your depression lasts more than 4 weeks, you may be clinically depressed

7. Go to Judah!

Prov 15:15.  All the days of the afflicted are evil,

But he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast.

Prov 15:13.  A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance,

But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Prov 17:22.  A merry heart does good, like medicine,

But a broken spirit dries the bones.

•        Watch a funny movie; go to a comedy club; turn on upbeat music; get out and enjoy God’s creation

This is the whole of what I wrote on Dec 1, 2012:  Like Paul slips into despair, I slip into depression. not over any one thing, but the weight of the whole. I don't quit. I create. I innovate. I recreate.

Mad Money

To Get Even Financially, we must

1. Quit just “using” money
2. Change the way you think about money
3. Make friends with money

Luke 16:8-9

So the master commended the unjust steward because he had dealt shrewdly. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in their generation than the sons of light.

9 And I say to you, make friends for yourselves by unrighteous mammon, that when you fail, they may receive you into an everlasting home.

1.  Spend time with it

I didn’t say “Spend it”; I said “Spend time with it.”

If you want friends, you must be friendly.  Prov 18:24

Blacks aren’t good friends of money because we don’t spend enough time with it

As soon as we make it, we spend it

We don't invest it, or use it to produce

When we get our tax refund, we go straight to the store

• ·         Clothes & Shoes
• ·         Hair & Personal Care Products
• ·         Alcohol – 12% of population, 30% of Scotch consumption

Luke 8:18.  For whoever has, to him more will be given; and whoever does not have, even what he seems to have will be taken from him.

2.  Check on it & account for it (care what happens to it)

You must pay attention to your financial status

Too many of us avoid it…

            Open your mail; look at bank statements & credit card statements

            It’s costing you interest, messing up your credit score & blocking more money

Know how much you have so that you will know what you can and cannot do

3.  Know its value

What are the most important things in your life?

God, family, etc. should come first, but money is more important than most of the things:

            When our financial priorities are in order, “things” come last

We care more about having the things that money can buy than having the money

Thus, we part with money too quickly and easily.

We must value money more than things; then we wouldn’t spend the money so fast

Eccl 10:19.  Money answers everything.

We don’t talk about what money can do; we talk about what money can buy

We work hard for our money, then get paid and go shopping

We don’t take any thought for tomorrow and the future.

• ·         (Matt 6:33 says don’t worry about tomorrow, not don’t prepare for tomorrow)

4.  Make room for more

2 Kings 4:1-6; Is 54:1-3.  Increase doesn’t come until you make room for it

Clutter creates confusion

• ·         important matters get lost in stacks
• ·         bounce checks
• ·         pay late fees on bills
• ·         forget to renew our driver’s license
• ·         lose time in search of stuff

Financial clutter creates mental clutter

Chose Clarity over Clutter!

The stuff we have cost money, and represents money wasted. 

Get rid of some of the stuff and make room for things of real value.

5.  Increase it – Multiply it

Jesus speaks repeatedly about “unprofitable servants

• ·         Luke 17 - It's not until we do "extra"
• ·         Matt 25 - He expects "interest"

6.  Create an active stream or a flow

Luke 6:38.  Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.

I’m Mad! I'm Getting Even!

Judges 15:14-18; 1 Kings 18:36-39; 19:4-6

Samson:  Superhero of the Bible – in the physical

Elijah:  Superhero in the Spiritual Realm

In both instance, after the Spirit moved on them mightily, both men are mad

• ·         Samson, very thirsty – feeling betrayed
• ·         Elijah – unfilled expectations

In both instances they felt at the end; they were ready to give up, even die

Amazing that they can be so mad, after being so Spiritual

After being so high, can slip to such a low

This is not a sin problem

This is not a spiritual problem

As a matter of fact, the problem is not abnormal

A lot of you are dealing with the same issue

            You haven’t been able to put your finger on what you’re feeling

                        You can’t figure out why you’re so mad & irritable – no real reason

Diagnosis the problem:

They were getting mad, when what they needed was to “Get Even”

They were on a Spiritual high, but physically & emotionally they were low

They were uneven

Spiritually – high

Physically – exhausted: hungry, thirsty, tired

Emotionally (soul) – disappointed and depressed, bitter and resentful

            Felt alone, deserted, empty

Financially – frustrated

Felt unappreciated – like work and successes were meaningless & unrewarded

The answer to physical, emotional & financial deficits is not spiritual

            In the same way, the answer to spiritual deficits is not natural

Each part of us has a longing, a desire, a pull…

When you don’t address your appetites properly, live in undefined frustration

Open & vulnerable to the falling into temptation with substitutes

Temptation is just an appeal to your natural appetites, i.e. sex, money, food, connection

James 1:14.  Each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lusts and enticed.

Lust is strong desire for the right thing the wrong way or for it in excess

When you’re uneven, with unexplained frustration; you’re subject to burnout

Vulnerable to alcoholism, extramarital affairs, perversions, even suicide

Look at how God dealt with these great men:

He did not condemn them for being mad, because what they needed was normal

            He addressed the area in their life where they needed to get even

I want to share a few things, so you won’t get mad, but you’ll get even:

1.  Know thyself: you are a spirit, living in a body, with a soul – each part has an appetite

Eccl 7:16-18

16 Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?

17 Do not be overly wicked, nor be foolish: Why should you die before your time?

18 It is good that you grasp this, and also not remove your hand from the other;

For he who fears God will escape them all.

2.  Satisfy your thirst or appetite appropriately

Identify the real hunger or thirst   

Learn to feed each part of yourself – natural food, Word, relationship,

3.  Celebrate your successes:  God did!  (each day)

4.  Rest:  God did

            Take proper physical care of yourself: eat right, sleep, exercise

Remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy

            Technology doesn’t let us rest

Slow down and shut something off

5.  Get away:  Mark 6.  Jesus made the disciples take a vacation after a spiritual high

            Change locations, change activities, period of time

6.  Have a support system – friends, family, church, group

            Samson & Elijah felt alone

Eccl 4:9-10.  Two are better than one,

Because they have a good reward for their labor.

10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.

7.  Get your financial house in order

Financial conditions increase stress, enhance frustrations, destroys marriages

8.  Laugh  

A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. Prov 17:2

                        Laughter lowers stress, boosts immune system and is contagious.

Don’t get mad, Get Even

3 John 2.  Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospers.  KJV

Blueprint for the Home, Pt 3 Communications

A lot of things influence the way we communicate – home, pop-culture, personality

Just by nature of our gender difference, we communicate differently

• Ø  Women use more words per day than men
  • ·         Women want rapport
  • ·         Men want reports
  • ·         Women share feelings
  • ·         Men solve problems

We speak the same language, yet we struggle to convey what we mean, want or need

            And we struggle to understand what we hear

Communication:  How well you send and receive messages 

Take responsibility for what you say – we disregard the power of words

 Our tongues get us into a world of trouble

James 3:5-6.  Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.

Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire,

a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person,

sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. NIV

You can’t take words back

You speak out of the treasure in your heart – Matt 12:35

Words, mind & heart connected – so check your heart

Take responsibility for what you don’t say

Men – don’t expect her to “just know” that you love her or that you think she’s beautiful

Women (intuitive) – don’t expect a man to read your mind – hinting, pouting, sighing

            “What’s wrong?”          Nothing

• ·         God knows what you want, yet He requires that you ask Him in prayer believing

      Expect certain conversations to be unpleasant, confrontation and criticism,

• o   No solution to the problem, so avoids talking

No such thing as a lack of communication – just a lack of talking

• Ø  We communicate – send messages – by our silence

We also communicate with “Body Language”

More than half of what we say is non-verbal – 58% to 93%

tone of voice, facial expressions, eye movement, body movement, and posture, hand gestures

Body language usually prevails over words. 

We were trained to respond to “the look”

 “I had to hit him.  He was messin’ with me!”

What did he say?

“Nothin’!  He was lookin’ at me!”

Work hard to understand what you hear – that’s not what I said

• ·         Don’t add (maximize) or take away (minimize)
• ·         The serpent told Eve that’s not God really meant – Gen 3:3-5

Pay attention, take seriously, believe

Prov 4:7.  Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom.

     And in all your getting, get understanding.  NKJV

Shut up (stop interrupting) and listen

Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” – understand

Control your reactions so that they’re constructive – not destructive

James 1:19-20

19 Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  NIV

Gal 5:15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.  NIV

Don’t Question Character:  “Don’t you care that we are perishing?”

Eph 4:29-32

29 Do not let any unwholesome (corrupt to rot, rotten) talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, arguing, quarreling and abusive language (false accusations against character), along with every form of malice (desire to cause pain). 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  NIV

Lazarus rule:  After four days, it’s stinking

Ministry of the toilet

Women don’t want solutions.  They want to dump

            When they are finished, they feel better,

But men are left with the stuff

• ·         Men must learn to flush

Toilets will smell, stain, back up

• ·         Women must learn to clean the toilet bowl

Communicating will always be a struggle

Challenge you to use God’s blueprint and play by His rules

If you want your relationship to be better, start by changing yourself

Born Again by the Word

Ps 19:14.  Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.